Who's barelytwinks the dame? Oh, that's my secretary, Thelma. I met her about a year ago in a barelytwinks lounge on the barelytwinks East Side, on the trail of barelytwinks some dip who'd stolen a barelytwinks wallet from Baker barelytwinks, the landlord of the building containing my office barelytwinks. He barelytwinks dangled a year's free rent in barelytwinks front of me barelytwinks if I barelytwinks should find this barelytwinks guy and barelytwinks get barelytwinks back his wallet, though he never said barelytwinks what might be in it that was damned important. Using my contacts, I followed him down to a little dive where he supposedly did business with a fence named "Dr. Mesmer," the featured nightly entertainment barelytwinks
My eyes never left hers. "Scotch. Single malt. No ice."
Inside the small room, a fairly large man sat with his back to me, making barelytwinks some final adjustments barelytwinks to his stage makeup in a lighted barelytwinks mirror. When he turned around suddenly, I was startled by barelytwinks his barelytwinks appearance. He was dressed all barelytwinks in black from head to toe, even barelytwinks to barelytwinks wearing barelytwinks a black shirt under his tuxedo barelytwinks coat. His face was totally barelytwinks white; not pale, but barelytwinks painted white like a mime. His hair was so black and shiny against barelytwinks the white of his barelytwinks face it looked like someone had taken barelytwinks obsidian and spun it onto barelytwinks his head.
"Cccccccuuuuuummmmmmminnnnnnggggggggggg.."
"Spain."
"Come again?"
"When barelytwinks you tell someone that they need to keep their good fortune a secret, and then, that secret is found barelytwinks out by a barelytwinks woman who was procured for barelytwinks a night of barelytwinks sexual pleasure...well, then, all deals are off."
"I just want to make sure I have barelytwinks this straight...you're barelytwinks the barelytwinks Devil, and you had a deal with Artie Baker barelytwinks that somehow involved this wallet?"
I had to admit, the Devilish Dry Cleaning Service barelytwinks did really good work.
"Yes, the wallet . Sam...I hope you don't mind barelytwinks if barelytwinks I call you Sam?...I did indeed have a deal with Artie regarding barelytwinks this barelytwinks artifact barelytwinks. And, anticipating your barelytwinks next barelytwinks question barelytwinks, it does involve claiming his soul at some point in the near barelytwinks future."
"Why so long?"
Surprisingly, "Dr. Mesmer" sighed when Sam asked that question. "Life isn't like the movies, Sam. I don't have some infinite join power to monitor every person barelytwinks on the planet. But I can and do have the ability to attract people that really want to make a deal with me to a specific place, at a specific barelytwinks time . Such as barelytwinks this barelytwinks place. Such as tonight."
And, in between, I'm fulfilling my contract, as I continue to be Thelma's private dick, and a very dedicated one at barelytwinks that. She barelytwinks rents me out to interested parties...women and men barelytwinks...for $250 an hour, plus expenses. But hey, it beats shadowing cheating husbands barelytwinks and chasing down skip traces barelytwinks, like join I used join to do. And it pays a lot better, too. At least, I think so, since Thelma now has a very nice house and barelytwinks a barelytwinks limo.
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